Hi:-)
I know it has been ages since I've posted something here, but lately my life has been a whirlwind. I will try to play catch up in a few minutes here but right now I need to vent a little and get a few things out of my system.
Tonight has been a bit of a rough night for my roommate. I feel really bad for her and really wish there was something I could do to cheer her up. But at the same time, whenever she's upset she seems to turn to other people. And no matter what I do or say, it's never enough because she is always calling someone else and consulting with them. Like tonight for instance, she was upset over a few things and I was trying to comfort her. It was going okay but then she called a bunch of her friends from home and even a friend of ours on campus. Our friend came over and seemed to be cheering her up by saying a lot of the same kind of things I did. They went for a walk and now they are going back to that friend's apartment to watch a movie and maybe even spend the night. My issue is that I feel excluded because they never once thought to ask me if maybe I'd like to join them. Stuff like this happens all the time and while I don't expect to be included in everything, it doesn't feel good to be excluded fairly frequently either. I mean I'm good friends with both of them and I don't understand why they don't want me around. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong and like I'm not a good enough friend. But I don't know what I can do to change the situation either. I would talk to them about tonight but my roommate is going through stuff and I don't want to sound like the bitch that isn't sympathetic to her problems. Because I totally sympathize but at the same time she's kind of hurting me. And I would never exclude her and I don't know if they realize they're doing this or if they really don't want me around.
On top of all this, I have a lot of homework this weekend and my mom is going in for surgery on Monday. Granted the surgery is fairly routine and she will be in very good hands at Yale but that doesn't mean that this isn't stressful. Especially since I can't be there with her because I'm here in DC at school. And this is the second time in about a year that an immediate family member has been in the hopsital for surgery and that I couldn't be there. Last year, my sister was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma (bone cancer) on her left leg. I was in Spain for the semester when she was diagnosed (March, Holy Thursday) and when she had the surgery (early May, about a week before I came home). We were very blessed and my sister's surgery went well and she is doing wonderfully. I know my mother's situation is far less tramautic than my sister's but it still hurts a little that I can't be with them during a hard time--again! I'm not blaming myself or holding onto any guilt, but the whole situation still kind of sucks. And I don't feel like I can talk to anyone here at school about it too much. I mean, when I told my roommate she was sympathetic just like everyone was sympathetic when they learned that my sister had cancer. But until you are going through something like that, you don't really know what it's like and no one was really and truly there for me then (except maybe my senora who actually cried because her daughter has cancer and a few other close family friends of ours from home). And part of me is glad that no one really understands because this kind of stuff is awful and it's not something you ever want to experience. But on the other hand, I wish people were more willing to listen.
Okay, enough venting and complaining and crying. I need to be strong and count my blessings. So here goes...
1) I didn't get into Yale but I got into Uconn so I have a place to go next year:-) I'm still waiting to hear from BC before I make my final decision (unless they make it for me but rejecting me as well).
2) Spring Break Disney!!!! Oh yes, we went to Disney World for our spring break:-) It was, well, magical:-D
3) I passed my senior comprehensive exams:-D
4) My family:-D
Mucho, mucho, mucho, amor y besos!!5) My friends:-) I love you all, even if I was complaining a little before.
6) I have shelter, food, and clothing.
7) Graduation is in 55 days!!!
8) And Easter Break is in 24 days !!! (Thank goodness! I haven't been home since Christmas!)
9) Spring is coming!
10) It's bedtime:-D And, to quote from the Carousel of Progress, "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day!"
Actually, I feel much better right now. And I seem to have touched upon all the major events in my life over the past 47 days (i.e. since my last post at the end of January). So I've killed two birds with one stone, which is good because I'm tired. Okay, until next time (whenever that is), buenas noches! Hasta luego!
